Emotional exhaustion

So for over a week now I’ve been trying to find a new place to stay. So far, all the places were disappointing. When I talk to my friends/family about the matter I maintain this relaxed attitude: “I still have time. There are more offers appearing now.”

And while this is true, the search is starting to take its toll on me.

The search is an emotional roller-coaster. When I find a place that seems great I get excited (although less with each room that I’ve seen). When I get there, it’s usually (always) a disappointment. So, when I come home, I cannot stop myself from crying. As soon as I’m in my room the tears just start rolling down my cheek.

I feel like I can’t tell anybody because either they would dismiss it (my family: “there’s no need to be so worried/anxious”) or I feel like I shouldn’t disturb them (e.g. my friends, one of which is planning engagement, and the other is in the process of moving).

And I know that I do have time (over a month) and that there are more and more offers appearing every day. But I’d just rather already have something…

Maybe I should take a break, but I can’t stop myself from checking the websites. And since I can’t find much that looks okay I’m just growing more anxious.

I’m getting anxious to the point where I can’t focus on anything, where I can’t sleep or eat much. And I’m just so exhausted emotionally.

I’ve even started considering staying in the room, I’m currently renting – only because that would mean I don’t have to look for a new place anymore. But I won’t stay here, because the place is not good and I can’t live like this anymore…


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